Episode 35: The Reflection
Hey, here is the new episode 35 ready for beta-reading!
Workflow I propose:
- Read a fresh work-in-progress rendering on XYZ
- Comment the lines on the merge-Request 746 to enhance or fix speechbubbles. Update 2021-05-26: New version for alpha2 here: !746 (a84b7289)
- Report any other questions/suggestions/feedback here on this thread
I hope you'll like this new episode!
Dialogues and difficulties:
(note: Please read the paragraph under after getting a first read of the preview on XYZ, so you can build a first impression of the episode before being influenced with my explanation of "what I tried to-do", thank you.)
So, in this episode, Pepper starts tired and Rea exhausted. But she is still chased by a Pilot (Torreya) and Dragon (Arra) of Ah. This situation puts her into a big stress. Pepper will invent a plan to get rid of the Dragon, expressing the darkest side of her personality. This confrontation with herself will remind her who she really is, and decide a rather anticlimactic move... The episode has an interesting curve for Pepper, and recenter the story around the "good witch" VS "mean witch" struggle for Pepper growing as a Chaosah witch.
I tried again to make an episode in English from scratch, difficult! Here are limitations I met:
- Page 2: "Clingies" I tried to find a similar term to the French "pot-de-colles" (glue pot) used when someone keep tracking you.
- Page 2: "Get a grip" Pepper speak to herself, motivational, not sure if used in English ("Reprends-toi Pepper!").
- Page 5 "Drat" Not sure if vulgar or too familiar. Not sure what Pepper could use in extreme situation.
- Page 6 "The Lake of the Horns", inspired by real Lac Cornu on Mont-Blanc mountain in France while writting the scenario. Unfortunately, word to word translation made the "Horny Lake" and it sounded less evil (or more, not sure).
- Page 6: I struggled a lot to suggest the trap would kill Torreya and Arra without showing it, speaking about impalement or showing blood. I hope it will work as it is during the first read.
- Page 12: The end "reflection" of Pepper is bit short to my taste. I originally wanted to write here three speechbubbles and get something a bit more substantial about identity and "being true to yourself" wisdom; but I felt limited by my vocabulary. I had: "Whatever the risks and dangers in the future, staying true to who I am is the most important thing in the end, No. It's more than that. It is essential." But that felt a bit off too. I'm open for proposal on this part!
Ping @craigmaloney , @Nartance , @valvin , @martindisch , @ArloJamesBarnes, @parnikkapore , @Alkarex , @Tirifto , @gunchleoc , @huftis , @Carotte : team preproduction of the previous thread (welcome to any other who want to participate into episode 35 preproduction too).