Commit caa9127d authored by Midgard's avatar Midgard

Convert to present tense, improve some language

… and typography.
parent 7a52fb11
Experiment
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**Rules**: each participant writes one panel and tries to be consistent with previous panels. Then he designs the next participant.
**Rules**: each participant writes one panel and tries to be consistent with previous panels. Then he designs the next participant. Describe the main action in the present tense. (for example: *Pepper is singing*, not *Pepper was singing*)
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@valvin
We are in Pepper's bedroom during the middle of the night. Pepper is deeply sleeping while Carrot is just finding something in a chest. Carrot is trying to not make noise. He has in hand a costume looking like a super hero costume which can hide him enough to be not recognizable.
We are in Pepper’s bedroom during the middle of the night. Pepper is deeply sleeping while Carrot is just finding something in a chest. Carrot is trying to not make noise. In his paw, he’s holding a costume that looks like a super hero costume which can hide him enough not to be recognizable.
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......@@ -19,7 +19,7 @@ Carrot is half on his way out of the chest (one leg down), carefully holding the
@imsesaok
The metal button on the costume fell out and made a clanging noise. Carrot freaked out and jumped into the air. The chest door hit the wall and made a loud bang.
The metal button on the costume falls out and makes a clanging noise. Carrot freaks out and jumps into the air. The chest door hits the wall and makes a loud bang.
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......@@ -31,7 +31,7 @@ Pepper turns around and groans. Carrot looks at her anxiously. Will she wake up?
@popolon
Carrot tries to pull the clothes out of the room, a metal part scratches the ground.
Carrot tries to pull the clothes out of the room, but a metal part scratches the ground.
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......@@ -49,36 +49,38 @@ Pepper pulls the sheets up over herself to block out noise. The coast is clear.
@Nartance
Carrot deeply sighed. If Pepper discovered the truth...
But a little noise disturbed his thought. As a metal that'd scratch the floor. Again?!
Carrot turned his head toward the noise. And what he saw surprised him a lot.
Carrot sighs deeply. If Pepper would discover the truth...
But a little noise disturbs his thought. Like metal scratching the floor. Again?!
Carrot turns his head towards the noise. And what he sees surprises him a lot.
Indeed, a little creature tried to pull off the metal button of his costume, with a great difficulty. She looked like a little woman, with short and messy hair held by a pink ribbon, wearing a dress made of leafs and flowers. But that's not her first appearance which surprised Carrot, not even her small size. It was the little wings that were flapping very quickly on her back, as hard was the effort to take the button.
The creature suddenly stopped to pull the button. She looked at Carrot slowly, and seemed to be terrorized.
Indeed, a little creature tries to pull off the metal button of his costume, with great difficulty. It looks like a little woman, with short and messy hair held by a pink ribbon, wearing a dress made of leafs and flowers. But that’s not her first appearance which surprises Carrot, not even her small size. It’s the little wings that are flapping very quickly on her back, as hard was the effort to take the button.
The creature suddenly stops pulling the button. She looks at Carrot slowly, and seems to be terrorized.
"M... Mister Cat!" she stammered, terrified, with large gestures. "It... it's not what you think! I... I just wanted to... I like shiny things... but... you can keep it! Please, Mister Cat! Don't eat me!"
“M... Mister Cat!” she stammers, terrified, with large gestures. “It... it’s not what you think! I... I just wanted to... I like shiny things... but... you can keep it! Please, Mister Cat! Don’t eat me!”
But feline instinct of Carrot made agitating his tail with a great appetite. He prepared to jump on the prey...
But Carrot’s feline instinct makes him swing his tail with great appetite. He prepares to jump on the prey...
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@deevad
...but Carrot is interrupted at the last moment: a big shadow appeared on the mirror of the bedroom of Pepper, a terrifying one with red-eye.
...but Carrot is interrupted at the last moment: a big shadow appears on the mirror of the bedroom of Pepper, a terrifying one with red eyes.
"Huuuu, Master what are you doing here?" says the little fairy wearing a dress made of leafs:
“Huuuu, Master, what are you doing here?” says the little fairy wearing a dress made of leafs.
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@xHire
The dark contour of the mysterious figure raises its hand, points a finger at the clothes and slowly utters: "That’s… that’s the *Cloak of Eternal Chaosah Power.* My aeon-long search has finally come to an end. **YES!** Now, give it to me! It’s **mine!**" Both Carrot and the fairy gaze at the red-eyed shadow with frozen poses.
The dark contour of the mysterious figure raises its hand, points a finger at the clothes and slowly utters: “That’s… that’s the *Cloak of Eternal Chaosah Power.* My aeon-long search has finally come to an end. **YES!** Now, give it to me! It’s **mine!**
Both Carrot and the fairy gaze at the red-eyed shadow with frozen poses.
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@RJQuiralta
In the meanwhile not too far from the bedroom, just ouside the window Carrot's friends (the three cats, please insert names here) are waiting anciously, each with a costume of their own, puzzled about what has taken Carrot so long...
Meanwhile not too far from the bedroom, just outside the window, Carrot’s friends (the three cats, please insert names here) are waiting anxiously, each with a costume of their own, puzzled about what has taken Carrot so long...
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