Commit 75797f11 authored by Craig Maloney's avatar Craig Maloney

Adding my version of ep29 and how I think it might work.

parent 7f8839ad
Episode 29: The Underworld Dragon
* **Author:** Craig Maloney <> (Based off of an original story by David Revoy)
* **License:** [Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)](
**Pitch** An evil force threatens the peace of Hereva. Banished to a pocket dimension this creature waits patiently for the moment to strike back at those who banished it. Now, as the moons of Hereva come into alignment it sees the moment to exit this dimensional prison and wreak havoc again upon the lands of Hereva.
**Scene 1: The moment approaches for the Underworld Dragon.**
We see a dark room of various geometric patterns. The emphasis is on darkness. No bright lights are present. Our perspective is just over the shoulder of the U-D
_Caption: Meanwhile, in a pocket dimension..._
  • 💡 Maybe an opportunity to add humor and a random number that give a large scale at how many dimension Hereva world has (eg: s/a pocket dimension/the 712th dimension/ )

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_U-D: At last! The moons of Hereva are aligned._
  • 👍 Good to re-use the three moon as a possibility for the breach to appear, it is a rare event in time indeed and can justify it.

  • Consistency check! How long does that alignment last? The coronation has been over for a few hours. Our moon moves about its diameter each hour, which amounts to 0.5°/hour in our sky. The Herevan moons have to move considerably slower for it to last.

    I'm also thinking: why does the breach open so late? The moons have been aligned for hours. Solutions: it can open really slowly, or the U-D would not have found it immediately. But that again raises the question: why is it only the size of its eye at the moment? Will the moons be aligned for much longer so that the breach will grow?

  • The moon alignment starts the process. We could have it be brighter to show the passage of time into night if that would help, but it might serve to confuse.

  • That it starts the process is plausible. Imo it doesn't need to be shown in the comic but we can reply that if people would ask.

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Move to just over U-D's head / body. We see a small fissure open within the geometric shapes imprisoning the U-D
_U-D: There it is! The breach I have been waiting for!_
Focus on the face of the U-D; The eyes glow a dim red with fury. His face is obscured with shadows, but we can make out an ominous smile. All this time he has been in darkness and now a sliver of light appears.
_U-D: What's this? All those who imprisoned me are gathered together in this place?_
Focus over the shoulder of the U-D looking out through the breach. We see the pillars of Qualicity at night. The palace is dimly lit by torches and lanterns.
_U-D: Once this opens I shall have both my freedom and MY REVENGE!_
**Scene 2: Small Changes, Big impacts.**
Zoom on Qualicity.
We see Coriander and Pepper talking from one of the balconies. Pepper is fiddling with a skewer. Carrot is sleeping near Pepper's feet. Coriander leans on the balcony with her arms crossed. They both look out into the desert surrounding Qualicity. The breach is nowhere in sight. Coriander is on the left of the frame. Pepper stands on the right.
_Coriander: I'm glad that part is now over._
_Pepper: Right. Now you can focus on being queen._
Zoom in on Coriander's face. Her head is in her crossed arms.
_Coriander: I just feel so powerless. Who is going to listen to someone like me?_
Zoom out to show Pepper and Coriander. Coriander looks puzzled and annoyed at Pepper's statement, but a more curious annoyed look rather than rage.
_Pepper: I think I understand._
Focus on Pepper's face. She is still twirling the skewer.
_Pepper: It's kind of how my Godmothers explain Chaosah Magic and how it works._
Focus on Coriander and Pepper. Coriander is now fully puzzled. Pepper is still focusing on the skewer.
_Coriander: How so?_
_Pepper: They taught me even the smallest change can have profound impact._
Focus on Pepper. Her fingers pinch the end of the skewer. It starts to glow.
_Pepper: I cast a spell that destroyed our house. I thought they would be mad._
Shot of Coriander looking at the glowing skewer while Pepper still concentrates on the skewer.
_Pepper: But Cayenne cast a spell and broke the house into even smaller particles._
Shot of the skewer as it disintegrates into glowing dust. Coriander looks amazed. Pepper smiles confidently.
_Pepper: And through the small changes of Thyme and Cumin our house was rebuilt._
**Scene 3: The Chain Reaction.**
Focus on Pepper and Coriander. The particles are all around them. Pepper holds her hand up like she's lecturing. Her hands and demeanor remind the audience of Cayenne. Pepper's mouth is open. Coriander is barely containing a laugh.
_Pepper: "And remember, Pepper. A true witch of Chaosah..."_
Focus on Pepper. She sneezes. The particles worked their way into her nose.
_Pepper: ACHOO!!!_
Coriander and Pepper look alarmed over the balcony. The particles have turned into a mini tornado from the force of Pepper's sneeze.
_Coriander: Oh no! What are they doing?_
_Pepper: ..._
Cut to the breach. We are looking from Qualicity into the desert. The breach has a dark red outline with a blue center, which looks out of place from the dark, yet distinctly desert surroundings of Qualicity. Inside the breach we see the eye of U-D peering out.
_U-D: Almost there._
Cut to the particle tornado. We see Pepper and Coriander looking above it as it descends into Qualicity itself. It's a small tornado but the look of horror on their faces is palpable.
_Coriander: Pepper! Do something!_
_Pepper: Let me think._
  • Could also have her try to steer the tornado away from Qualicity so Pepper plays more of an active role. But I didn't want to create too many panels.

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Focus on the particle tornado. It picks up some fruit from a table and lobs it into the air.
Focus on the fruit as it bounces toward the edge of another balcony and rolls off. The particle tornado fizzles out.
Focus on the fruit as it hits a bench. The bench breaks in half and launches a lantern into the air.
**Scene 4: The Result.**
Focus on the breach. It is wide enough that both eyes are visible. They peer out into the Qualicity sands.
_U-D: Just a little bit more..._
Focus on the lantern as it spirals down one of the pillars of Qualicity. The flame inside is still lit, but the glass of the lantern keeps it from setting anything on fire.
Focus behind the lantern as it hits the ground and begins to roll. Off in the distance we see the breach.
Focus on the lantern as it hits a rock, which causes the lantern to spiral in the air towards the breach.
Shot of the lantern directly in front of the breach. The eyes focus directly on the lantern as it approaches. They look surprised and shocked.
Shot of the breach disappearing. We see only a faint glow of the lantern that was there before, and a "FWIP" sound as the breach closes.
Focus on Coriander and Pepper as they look behind themselves. They look puzzled. Carrot pops his head up as though he was woken up by the sound.
_Coriander: Did you hear something?_
_Pepper: What was that?_
Shot of Coriander and Pepper moving from the balcony. Coriander is somewhat amused. Pepper still looks worried that she did something wrong. Carrot sniffs the air. Something is amiss, but he's not sure what.
_Coriander: Maybe your Godmothers are right, Pepper_
Close-up of Coriander's face. Pepper is in the distance, still scanning for the tornado.
_Coriander: Maybe small changes do have a big impact after all._
We see Cayenne. She looks like she was awakened from a deep sleep. Her mask is pulled up and she peers with one eye open.
We see the same shot of her face. She knows what happened and how Pepper resolved it. She smiles.
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